Say No and Keep Your Friends teaches middle schoolers how to stand up for themselves and still retain valued friendships. Learning these skills is critical for two reasons. On the most obvious level, it gives young people tools to resist peer pressure to use drugs or alcohol, have sex too soon, or get involved in illegal activities. On a more subtle level, it can enhance their self-esteem and contribute to their self-confidence at a vulnerable time of life.
Among the techniques that work are changing the subject, talking things out, turning the tables on the person, refusing to continue the conversation, and just walking away. What doesn't work is yelling, continually making excuses, or getting angry.
Viewers discover that in dealing with a friend, the way in which the "no" is said is very important. They learn about sending mixed messages, "Say what you mean," the program advises, "and mean what you say." Not only is it a good idea to clearly and briefly state the reasons for refusing a request, but it is equally appropriate to look for alternatives and compromises.
Viewers also learn that when pressured to do something dangerous or illegal, the best thing to do is to ask themselves, "Is this the kind of friend I want?" and then accept that the loss of a friendship is a necessary consequence where personal safety or important values are involved.
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